God Damn Card Games...

I swear, these card games happen at the most bizarre times. I enjoy a good game of Yu-Gi-Oh, but come on!

I was sitting thinking about my fight with Red Daniel, when this man approached me. He didn't look right. He was clearly insane.

“Hell!” he said, ecstatically. “You must be the great Dan Ferris!”

“Yeah, and who the hell are you?” I asked.

“You're opponent!” he announced, as a duel disk appeared on his arm.

“No!” I said. “I'm not in the mood! I'm not fucking doing this right now!”

I got up and started walking away, but the scenery suddenly changed. I was at the edge of a floating rock in an endless expanse of soft purple sky.

“Where the hell are we!?” I demanded.

“I'm sorry!”the man said, grinning broadly. “But I insist! You and I will duel!”

“Ugh, fine!” I said. “But you'll regret bringing me here. I'm seriously not in the mood for this crap right now.”

“Very well!” the man said. “Let us begin!”

“I'll go first!” I said, drawing. “I set one monster in face down defense osition, then set another spell or trap card face down and end my turn.”

“My turn!” the man said. “I summon Rogue Doll in attack mode!”

A twisted looking toy doll appeared on his field. It was level 4 with 1600 attack points.

“Next, I play the spell card Tribute Doll!” he said. “Now, by tributing a monster on my field, I can special summon a level 7 monster from my hand! I summon Double Doll!”

A porcelain figure appeared on his field, wearing a black dress with red lace. It was level 7 with 2200 attack points.

“I use Double Doll's effect!” he said. “When she's special summoned from my hand, I can summon another of her from my deck!”

A second doll appeared, this time with blue lace instead of red.

“I build the overlay network with these two level 7 monsters!” he said. “Now, I can xyz summon my ultimate monster! Come forth, Nightmare Toy- Destructo Doll!”

A giant toy doll appeared on his field. It looked like a man wearing a nice suit with combed hair. It was rank 7 with 2500 attack points.

“I attack with Destructo Doll!” he announced.

His monster lifted its right arm, which transformed into a cluster of machine guns and began firing at my face down card.

“My face down monster is Gyroid!” I said. “Once per turn, it can't be destroyed in battle!”

“I use Destructo Doll's effect!” the man said. “Once per turn, if he fails to destroy a monster in battle, he can battle that monster a second time!”

His monster attacked my Gyroid again, this time destroying it.

“I then set a card and end my turn!” he said.

“Hold on,” I said. “During your end phase, I activate the continuous trap card Machine King 3000 B.C.! This card will now be treated as a monster card and will be summoned to my monster card zone!”

“Okay then!” he said.

“I draw!” I said. “I summon Genex Controller in attack mode!”

A small machine with 1400 attack points appeared on my field.

“I tune my level 3 Genex Controller to my level 4 Machine King 3000 B.C.!” I said. “I synchro summon level 7 Manufactured Newborn!”

I heard a loud rumbling noise as the tower of machine and flesh rose up beneath me.

“I activate a trap card!” the man said. “Draw Doll! This card will now equip to my Destructo Doll, and each time he battles with a monster that's the same attribute as him, both players draw one card from their deck!”

“I attack your Destructo Doll with the Manufactured Newborn!” I announced. “And since my monster's a Fear card, it won't be destroyed!”

“Don't forget!” he said. “Since both our monsters are Dark attributes, we both draw a card!”

Wires lashed out at his doll, knocking it to the ground. It got up afterward.

“What!?” I said. “Why is it still there!?”

“You see, my Destructo Doll can survive one battle each turn, provided he has at least one of his overlay units! Also, since your monster wasn't destroyed in this battle either, they have to battle again! And do to Draw Doll's effect, that means we'll both get another card!”

“I set two cards face down,” I said.”And then I end my turn.”

“And since this turn is over, Draw Doll will be destroyed!”the man said.

“Fine,” I said.

“My turn!” he said. “I activate the spell card Bait Doll!With this card, I can force the activation of one of your face down cards! And if the timing is incorrect, it gets destroyed! Now, let's see what the card on the left is!”

My card flipped face up, revealing it to be Mirror Force.

“Mirror Force only works when I attack!” he said. “So now Bait Doll will destroy it! Then, Bait Doll will return to my deck for future use! Now, I use Destructo Doll's effect! I detach one of his overlay units to increase his attack power by 1000 until the end phase!”

“Oh shit,” I said out loud.

“Now,attack his Newborn!”

The attack hit and I took 1000 damage.

“Next, since your monster survived, They must battle again!” he said.

He attacked again, and I lost another 1000 life points.

“Now, I set two cards face down and end my turn!” he said.

“I draw!” I said. “I switch My Newborn to defense position and set two cards face down. Then, I end my turn.”

“My turn,” he said. “I activate the trap card Strike Slash! Now, my monster gains 700 attack and deals piercing damage for the rest of the turn! Then, I use Destructo Doll's effect, so by using his last overlay unit, I can increase his attack power by 1000 again! Now, attack his Newborn!”

His monster had 4200 attack points, and my monster had 1300 defense, so I took 2900 damage.

“Now, I attack again!” he announced.

“I activate the trap card Defense Draw!” I said. “Now, I negate the damage from this attack and draw one card!”

“Okay, then!” he said. “You must be thinking you have a chance now that my monster's run out of overlay units, right? Well, hate to break it to you, but I'm using the spell card Overlay Regen! This card will now become and overlay unit for my monster! Now, I set a card face down and end my turn!”

“I draw!” I said. “Now, I play my face down Reload, so I shuffle my hand back into my deck and draw new cards!”

I drew some new cards. I finally had something I could use.

“I set four cards face down and end my turn!” I said.

“My turn!” he announced.

“I activate the trap card Destruct Potion!” I said. “Now, by destroying the Manufactured Newborn, I can gain life points equal to its attack power!”

My Newborn was destroyed and I rose to 5600.

“Now, I activate the Newborn's effect!” I said. “I can now increase my life by 1000 and special summon it to your field!”

I gained even more life and the Newborn appeared on his side of the field.

“Next, since the Newborn was just summoned to the field, I can play the trap card Torrential Tribute!” I said. “Now, Every monster in play!”

Both Destructo Doll and the Manufactured Newborn were wiped out.

“Next, since Newborn was destroyed by a card effect while under your control,I regain control of it!” I said.

The Newborn reappeared on my field.

“Clever strategy!” the man said. “But it won't be enough to win! I activate the trap card Xyz Reborn! Now, I can revive Destructo Doll and attach this card to him as an overlay unit! Then, I use his effect, so by detaching his overlay unit, He'll gain 1000 attack points! Also, I use the trap card Reinforcements! Now, he'll gain 500 attack points until the end phase! Now, attack!”

“I play the trap card Draining Shield!” I said. “Now, your attack is negated, and I gain life points equal to your monster's attack points!”

His attack was negated and I gained 4000 life points,bringing me up to 10600.

“I activate another Overlay Regen!” he said. “Then I end my turn!”

“I draw,” I said. I glanced at the card I had drawn. “Finally here, huh?”

“What's that?” he asked.

“I activate both of my remaining face down cards,” I said. “Tiki Soul and Tiki Curse! Both of these cards will now be treated as monster cards.”

“And what good will that do?” he asked.

“What do you think?” I asked. “Swarm tactics? Increasing life points? What kind of card do you think I've been building up to?”

“I don't...,” he paused for a moment. “No, you couldn't have that card, could you?”

“I tribute all three of my monsters!” I announced. “I summon the Egyptian God Card, The Winged Dragon Of Ra!”

“Shit!”the man shouted. “Not That!”

A giant, golden, bird-like dragon appeared. It was level 10 with 0 attack points.

“When Ra is summoned, I can pay life points until I only have a hundred left, and I can add all of that to my Dragon's attack points!”

Ra's attack power rose to 10500.

“Now, end this!” I commanded.

The dragon released a flashed of lightning. Although his monster was able to survive it, his life points couldn't. They dropped to 0. I won.

The man collapsed and fell unconscious as the scenery returned to normal.

“Good job,” said a voice. I turned to see Jack watching me.

“What are you doing here?” I asked.

“Just stopped by to give you a little challenge,” he said.

“So you're the one who sent this clown to duel me,” I said. “Why? What the hell is up with all these fucking card games!?”

“I discovered this card game a few years ago,” he said. “I found it interesting, and decided to put my own twist on it. I created hundreds of new cards, based on the monsters that mankind is ignorant to, including the Fears and the Old Ones.”

“So the Old Ones are real?” I asked.

“Sort of,” he said. “They exist on one of the deeper layers of reality. They can't come here themselves, but there are cults who worship them, and those like Gordon who have acquired their power and work for them as emissaries and such.”

“I see,” I said. “So, basically you created all these Fear cards just for shits and giggles?”

“Pretty much,” he said. “There's nothing I enjoy more than sowing seeds of chaos, and this card game seemed like an amusing way of doing so. Anyway, I have other people to screw with, so I must be off. But before I go, here's a small prize.”

He handed me a copy of the Destructo Doll card than vanished along with the man's unconscious body. Well, at least I know what the deal with the card games is. Still seems fucking stupid though.